she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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