her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
