How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
In America we eat man semen.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
