my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize