Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
