I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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