So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize