What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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