What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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