woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
