you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
