Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
