i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
