I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
