The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
