Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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