I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
