I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
