i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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