Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
