idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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