Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ketchup is God's man juice
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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