Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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