the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I need to calm my uterus...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
