I got chris browned last night
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
