You can't motorboat a personality
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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