new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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