I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We are two peas in an std pod
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize