i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
