so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
