Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
