i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
