Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the day after is always just damage control
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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