im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
