It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
