if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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