I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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