Your mouth is God's brothel.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
