You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
