he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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