i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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