do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
