Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
