"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
