Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Someone shit on the floor
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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