are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
