so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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