Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
