she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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