meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I forget how to act sober
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
