Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
