OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
