I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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