That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
