I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Shame - the story of my life.
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