And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
