i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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