why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
