woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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